I Slept With Everyone's Sober Girlfriend And All I Got Were These Stupid Poems
they should ban writers from sleeping with each other
it’s an expanded poem version of this piece. i wrote version one for page’s reading at st. dymphna’s on april 9, my first night back in the city. i wrote version two for torture’s residency at baker falls on april 22, my last night in the city. i added a few cheeky lines because i had invited someone i slept with the night before. poem 4 u. ironically, version 2 got me laid by someone else. he slept with izzy capulong and all he’ll become is eskimo brothers with his artistic heroes. might have to rename this The Poem That Makes Everyone Want To Have Sex With Me So They Can Get Their Own Line.
they should ban writers from sleeping with each other. or they should make it a competition to see who can write about whose private parts first. i think if i ever got remotely known for writing about sex, it would make me paranoid about everyone. do you actually like me or do you just want to hear about yourself in the longform.
paywalled because i still need to find a job and this might make me hard(er) to employ. i wish i was back in new york so i could make money off of being irreverent again. shoutout if you ever rued the day you kissed a writer in the dark. double shoutout if that writer is me. thank you if you spent money on this. but i love you either way.